Showing Love

It's been a while--a long while--since I last wrote anything. I will admit that I am not one of those mamas who has it all together. You know, the ones who can make everything from scratch, who keeps a clean and orderly house, whose children never have a stain on their clothes and are always obedient, and who can accomplish everything in the homeschooling day with hours to spare. Oh, you're not one of those mamas either? Great! It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my imperfectness. :)

Our youngest is now 6 months old. How did that happen? It seems like we just came home from the hospital last week, and I blinked and he's got the whole army man crawl down to a science. I am a mama who is still learning, after 6 months, to balance the needs of four young children and a husband, a mama who is learning every day what is truly important in that day and what really isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. And I am here to admit that I still haven't gotten it all figured out.

But if someone were to ask me what my kids would say was the one phrase I could be remembered for, without a doubt it would be, "Is that showing love?"

I want my kids to grow up knowing that mommy and daddy love them. More than that, I want them to know that their Heavenly Father loves them even more than we do--and that's a lot! And I also want them to know that they need to show love to others with their actions as well as their words.

As siblings often do, my kids will nitpick each other and get into arguments and do some not-so-nice downright mean things to each other. When this happens, one of the first things I ask is, "Is that how we show love to each other?" Quite often, the answer is no, which then prompts the question, "What should you do instead?" My five year old will often just answer, "Show love," so we have to talk about how he can show love instead of doing whatever he had done. My eight year old is a little more capable of thinking it through and can sometimes give a more thought-out response.

But when it comes right down to it, I have to stop and ask myself, am I showing them how to love with my actions, or am I just a clanging cymbal (I Corinthians 13:1)?

If I were to honestly answer that question, I would have to say that I can be a pretty loud cymbal at times. This mama doesn't always show love. But one thing that I have learned how to do, especially in the last year, is to go to my kids and tell them that I was wrong to respond in a certain way and tell them what I should have done instead. Sometimes I am cranky and irritable because I didn't get enough sleep or don't feel well. And do you know what I read the other day, as if for the very first time?

"[Love] is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged." (I Corinthians 13:4b, NLT)

Well, if that didn't just hit me like a ton of bricks! How often have I been irritable for this reason or that and been short with the kids or my husband? That certainly isn't showing love, and I have had to repent and ask my Heavenly Father to help me in this area. I am always ready with a hug or a kiss for my family, but there are times when, like my kids, I can just flat out act ugly. Sometimes I want my own way. Sometimes I am impatient. The most amazing thing is that even when I act like that, our Heavenly Father is ready and waiting with grace and with His perfect love. He forgives my shortcomings sins and says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (II Corinthians 12:9) He is that definition of love that we find in I Corinthians 13. He is patient and kind, never rude or irritable. Our kids' behavior is what we model for them--and just as our Heavenly Father models grace and love for us, I want to model those things for my children.

Lord, help me to be less of a loud, clanging cymbal and more of a grace-filled mama and wife who shows Your love to my family and to others.