Showing Love

It's been a while--a long while--since I last wrote anything. I will admit that I am not one of those mamas who has it all together. You know, the ones who can make everything from scratch, who keeps a clean and orderly house, whose children never have a stain on their clothes and are always obedient, and who can accomplish everything in the homeschooling day with hours to spare. Oh, you're not one of those mamas either? Great! It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my imperfectness. :)

Our youngest is now 6 months old. How did that happen? It seems like we just came home from the hospital last week, and I blinked and he's got the whole army man crawl down to a science. I am a mama who is still learning, after 6 months, to balance the needs of four young children and a husband, a mama who is learning every day what is truly important in that day and what really isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. And I am here to admit that I still haven't gotten it all figured out.

But if someone were to ask me what my kids would say was the one phrase I could be remembered for, without a doubt it would be, "Is that showing love?"

I want my kids to grow up knowing that mommy and daddy love them. More than that, I want them to know that their Heavenly Father loves them even more than we do--and that's a lot! And I also want them to know that they need to show love to others with their actions as well as their words.

As siblings often do, my kids will nitpick each other and get into arguments and do some not-so-nice downright mean things to each other. When this happens, one of the first things I ask is, "Is that how we show love to each other?" Quite often, the answer is no, which then prompts the question, "What should you do instead?" My five year old will often just answer, "Show love," so we have to talk about how he can show love instead of doing whatever he had done. My eight year old is a little more capable of thinking it through and can sometimes give a more thought-out response.

But when it comes right down to it, I have to stop and ask myself, am I showing them how to love with my actions, or am I just a clanging cymbal (I Corinthians 13:1)?

If I were to honestly answer that question, I would have to say that I can be a pretty loud cymbal at times. This mama doesn't always show love. But one thing that I have learned how to do, especially in the last year, is to go to my kids and tell them that I was wrong to respond in a certain way and tell them what I should have done instead. Sometimes I am cranky and irritable because I didn't get enough sleep or don't feel well. And do you know what I read the other day, as if for the very first time?

"[Love] is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged." (I Corinthians 13:4b, NLT)

Well, if that didn't just hit me like a ton of bricks! How often have I been irritable for this reason or that and been short with the kids or my husband? That certainly isn't showing love, and I have had to repent and ask my Heavenly Father to help me in this area. I am always ready with a hug or a kiss for my family, but there are times when, like my kids, I can just flat out act ugly. Sometimes I want my own way. Sometimes I am impatient. The most amazing thing is that even when I act like that, our Heavenly Father is ready and waiting with grace and with His perfect love. He forgives my shortcomings sins and says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (II Corinthians 12:9) He is that definition of love that we find in I Corinthians 13. He is patient and kind, never rude or irritable. Our kids' behavior is what we model for them--and just as our Heavenly Father models grace and love for us, I want to model those things for my children.

Lord, help me to be less of a loud, clanging cymbal and more of a grace-filled mama and wife who shows Your love to my family and to others.

"They all yours?"

Noah just turned one month old yesterday. I cannot believe how quickly time has passed! It seems like just yesterday when I was headed to the hospital, bag in hand, and ready to meet this sweet little bundle.

As a family, we ventured to Costco over the weekend. It was a necessity. With two kids in diapers and both of them just about out of their supplies of said diapers, we were almost in crisis mode. Traversing the entire store just four weeks after my c-section was just about too much for me. I'm sure that there are others who can do it and do it quite well; I'm just not one of them. So when I realized today that I had to make a trip to Walmart before my husband came home from work, I determined to get as few things as possible so that I didn't completely wear myself out.

While in Costco, I didn't get odd looks from strangers because of the size of my entourage. It could be that people there didn't notice because I tended to lag behind everyone else, or maybe they were too enamored by the novelty of my carrying Noah in the baby wrap, or maybe they were just too busy and wanted to get out of the store with some of their sanity intact. In Walmart, today, it was a completely different story.

Before the kids and I even got into the store, an elderly lady stopped me to peek at Noah. She had never seen a baby being worn before, and I was happy to oblige. Once I got in the store, the looks started heading my way. You could just read the thoughts on peoples' faces as they passed by us. One lady shot us a look of absolute disgust. One lady, an associate, took one look at the kids and said, "You sure have your hands full!" I smiled and said, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

By the time we made it to the register I was tired and in some pain, so I was looking for the shortest possible line to get in. We took our place in line behind an older lady, and as I got directly behind her to await my turn to unload my cart onto the belt, she struck up a conversation with me about my baby wrap. She had never seen one and asked if it was comfortable, and she wanted to know if I had a boy or a girl. Then she looked at the other three kids behind me and asked, "They all yours? Or do you run a daycare?" I smiled and politely said, "Yes, ma'am, they are all mine!" I steeled myself for having to defend our choice to have "so many" kids when this lady gave me a very warm, knowing smile and said, "You know, I have five kids of my own. And now I have sixteen grandchildren!" Finally! Someone who didn't find it odd to have "so many" children!

I learned two years ago that two children is the "approved" number in our society, and three children are allowable. Today, I learned that four children is most definitely not the norm--which I already knew--and that it can be very quickly frowned upon and even judged. What is four, anyway? It's just one more than three. :)

So, to the stranger at Walmart, the pool, or anywhere else, yes, these are all my children. Yes, my hands are full--but so is my heart. Each of these kids is a gift from my Heavenly Father, and I am so very thankful for each of them. Each one brings joy to our family in their own, special way. Each one has their own sense of humor. Each one has their own way of expressing love, and each one has a different way of receiving love. God didn't give these children to anyone else; He gave them to my husband and me, not because we're awesome parents and are up for the challenge, but because we are the perfect parents for them--and they are absolutely the perfect kids for us. We learn a lot from them, maybe more than we teach them.

So yes, these are my kids. And I am crazy in love with each one of them.

Noah Has Arrived!

Little Noah Matthew has arrived! He was born on March 16 at 10:45am, he weighed 7 lbs, 7 oz, and was 19.75 inches long. He is the smallest of our four kids, and he is absolutely beautiful! And, little Noah is a miracle.

When I changed the title of my blog to "Bountiful Blessings," I really had no idea how true that was. Oh, as a mama I count all of my children as blessings--even on the days when I feel like pulling my hair out. That Farm Rich commercial with the mother doing the voice-over, telling how her kids were so cute as babies that she could have just eaten them up, and then honestly saying that sometimes she wish she had always makes me chuckle--because I think we all have those days!

There is a lot that took place in the early days of this pregnancy that I could write about but won't. This would end up being about as long as a book chapter if I did! But suffice it to say that God's hand has been on Noah since the very first day of his life--which wasn't 9 days ago, but from the moment of conception.

Ben and I knew from the beginning of this pregnancy that this baby would complete our family, and we also knew that this would be a planned c-section. I have a history of long labors that end in the OR anyway, so my thought was to just avoid the stuff in the middle and go straight to the finish line. And going straight to the finish line at 39 weeks was the very best option for Noah, as we found out.

Ben and I arrived at the hospital at 7:30 am and went straight to the maternity floor. Surgery was schedule for 9am, so it was just a matter of waiting. While waiting they had me hooked up to the fetal monitor and an IV, and all was well. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nine o'clock came and went and we waited for my turn to walk down to the OR. The anesthesiologist and I made the trek down the hall a little after 10:00, I got the spinal, and then Ben came in and sat near me. Everything was fine. The anesthesiologist did a great job of telling me what was going to happen, what I would feel (which wasn't much), and then told me that the baby was out and we should hear him cry soon. Which we did. And then my OB told us something that we absolutely did not expect: Noah had the cord wrapped around his neck, and he had somehow managed to put two knots--on on top of the other--in the cord. There was just a very tiny gap in the knot that still allowed oxygen and nutrients to pass from me to him.

The nurses and doctors all said how lucky Noah was, and we all joked that he must have gotten bored in there or he is already working on his first Boy Scout badge. But in all honesty, our little Noah is a miracle.

Early in the week, I had felt a prompting to pray for Noah. I just knew that the cord was wrapped around his neck. Praying for him wasn't anything new; I'd been praying for him all 9 months and had specifically prayed Philippians 1:6 over him.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it..."

So immediately I began to pray for his safety and continued to pray for his safety all week long. When the doctor said that the cord was around his neck, that didn't really surprise me. The knots did surprise me, though.

During recovery, my nurse (whom I've had in at least one other birth) told me that babies just don't survive that kind of thing. And she said that having a c-section was the very best thing for him, as having a natural birth would have compressed the cord and caused another emergency c-section. Knowing that she is a Christian, I told shared with her how I'd been prompted to pray for his safety. The doctor told Ben that if Noah had just had one really jerky movement in the wrong direction, he would have cinched that tight and would have been cut off from all oxygen and nutrients and would not have survived.

So we are truly thankful for this tiny little boy who makes our family complete. Little Noah Matthew truly is a gift from God, which is the meaning of the name Matthew.

All I know is that we are truly blessed and are thankful for this little guy, and we know that God has some amazing plans for his life. Jeremiah 29:11 says,

'"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'

God's hand has been on this little boy from the beginning, and I can't wait to see His plan for Noah unfold.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy all of the snuggles and cuddles he has to give.

If You Don't Homeschool....

This is a link to a blog I saw on a friend's Facebook page about a month or so ago. It isn't a bash against those who don't homeschool. Actually, it's a bit of information for those who don't to help you understand those of us who do. Take a few minutes to read this; hey, it's helpful for those of us who DO homeschool our kids! :)


http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/what-non-homeschoolers-may-not-know

Enjoy the article!

"Fearfully and Wonderfully Made"

You may (or may not) have noticed that I changed the title of my blog. My focus is still on family and how we raise our kids to serve the Lord with all of their heart, soul, and mind. But I've changed it for one good reason.

We're about to become a family of 6!

Yep, you've read correctly. And before anyone asks, yes, I know what causes pregnancy. We didn't just find out. :) I have all of these wonderfully snarky comments that I'd love to say to the next person who asks me if I "know what causes that," but I just don't think I'd be bold enough to share them. Especially not within earshot of my kids.

But all of that aside, we are going to be blessed with another baby in March 2012!

Everyone in our house is pretty excited about the new baby, except for Ruth because she is just too young to understand. She's only 18 months old. This will definitely be a new experience for us, as all of our other children have been about 3 years apart. Ruth and the new baby will be almost 2 years apart exactly! In fact, at my OB appointment today, I asked the doctor how early they schedule c-sections (because this will be my third c-section, but my first planned one), and he said that they schedule them no earlier than 39 weeks. He gave me a new--and supposedly final--due date today. March 21, 2012. My due date has been all over the map during that week in March, but this one is supposed to be it. And according to him, the baby would be born no earlier than March 14. Whew! That means that both Ruth and the baby will have their own birthdays, but separated by just a very few days!

Since today's appointment was an ultrasound appointment, he asked me if I'd like to know the gender if he could tell. I told him yes. That just isn't my kind of surprise. Sorry! I had hoped that he would be able to tell the gender, but I certainly didn't count on it. Both Hayden and Ruth were extremely shy at this early ultrasound and I had to wait until the one later in pregnancy.

You know, I've seen ultrasounds of all of my children, and have even seen several of this child already, but the view never ceases to amaze me. To see that tiny heart beating, the sweet little movements, and even the hiccups--all of those things point to God. David said it so beautifully in Psalm 139:13-18:

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

When watching the ultrasound today, I couldn't help but to think on this passage. God has formed this child so perfectly, so lovingly, so beautifully. He knows all of the inner workings of this baby. He has plans for this baby! Honestly, my heart rejoices to know that my Heavenly Father loves this child even more than I already do.

And now, to answer your question, yes, the doctor was able to tell me the gender of the baby today. And Hayden was quite the excited little guy to learn today that he is finally getting a baby brother!

A Great Article on Motherhood

I realize that I haven't written anything at all in a few months, and I promise to catch up soon. In the meantime, please go read this wonderful blog post on motherhood. It will really bless you!

Motherhood is Calling (and Where Your Children Rank)

Now go enjoy your children! :)

We really need to just get away...

I am SO ready for a vacation.

I want a vacation from cell phones, TVs, and computers.

I want a vacation from sickness, antibiotics and breathing treatments, diarrhea, diaper blow-outs, and vomit.

I'm not even complaining about the housework or cooking or anything like that. I just want a vacation from the last several months, a time when our family is completely well and free from all distractions. I want us to have time to just focus on God and each other and get our relationships back on track. Everything has seemed so disrupted lately, and everyone is more grumpy than usual.

I get the whole flexibility thing, Lord, and honestly, I'm trying and I'm trying to teach the kids about flexibility in the process. They hate it when daddy is gone, so we try to schedule some fun things during that time. But is it possible for us to have some quality family time anytime soon? There are days when I just want to flush the next phone that rings down the toilet and unplug the TV and the computer. (Is it that obvious that my love language is quality time?)

The kids and I have had some fun movie nights when Ben has been gone. We've read some really great bedtime stories, too! Hey, we even racked up a pretty good library fine on overdue books that we just couldn't bear to return on time. But do you want to know what has been our coolest night recently, one that the kids still talk about? As Ben was coming back into town, he called me and asked if we had dinner plans. I told him that I hadn't started dinner yet, and he told me not to; we were going to go bowling as a family! That was Hayden's first time to go bowling and my first time in several years. Abby won the first game and Ben won the second. (Yes, I got beaten--no, completely creamed--by my six-year-old daughter!) The kids still bring that night up to me individually and ask when we can go bowling again.

But they, too, are also looking forward to a family vacation. They don't even care where it is, just as long as we are together with no distractions. Someplace where they can be outside, playing until they can't play anymore! (They have some serious cabin fever right about now.) They also want mommy's and daddy's undivided attention.

I know that "this too shall pass." But honestly, it can't pass quickly enough.